The Right Kind of Wrong
by As They Fly
Summary: When Zoe is faced with the prospect of being deported to Toronto, Canada for 6 months, she and Wade come to an arrangement. Now they have to convince all of Bluebell that they're in love in order to stay out of prison. AU from 1x06.
1. Chapter 1

Following a night filled with dead men, drunken teens but no sleep, seeing her mother standing in her carriage house making the bed truly is horrifying. Once Wade's done putting thoughts into her mother's head about their "relationship" (Zoe already knows that she's going to have to have another long talk with her mother about her taste in men), it almost feels good to yell at her. Turns out ignoring her calls wasn't as satisfying as she told herself it was, because boy, she definitely had some anger saved up there.

Later, as Zoe is traipsing through the woods looking for the dead Leon Mercy, she can't help thinking about how flying all the way down to Alabama to have it out is definitely not her mother's style. Candice Hart has always been a master at ignoring the problem until it went away. It's part of the reason why Zoe decides to hear her out, after she and Wade find the not dead Leon Mercy (God, sometimes her life really is a soap opera).

For a brief, brief moment as Zoe sits next to her mother after they've reconciled, she actually feels pretty happy. Of course, it doesn't last. 'Well, now we're on speaking terms again. We should talk about your visa.'

'What? My visa, what about it?' Zoe asks sharply, sitting up. Her mother gives a small sigh and looks at her pityingly.

'Dear, your visa was only good for the life of your studies. When you lost the fellowship, you lost your visa. I've had a lawyer looking to get you a new one, but it was only going to be possible if you stayed on at the hospital in New York. Surgeons are very important and the US is always willing to grant them work visas, but a small town GP is a whole other matter.'

'So I have no visa? Am I an illegal immigrant?'

'No, of course not.' Candice laughs lightly. 'Not for another three weeks, that's how long you have until they will deport you. Of course, that's assuming that they can even find you all the way down here.' Candice remarks distastefully, glancing out the window as something flaps by.

'That's not fair! I've hardly even started to get to know Harley, and now I'm going to be forced out of here? I'll lose the practice, everything he left to me.' Zoe jumps up from the couch, pacing. 'I lived in New York for ten years, surely I can get a green card or something?'

'Oh honey, you missed the filing deadline. I tried calling you to tell you, but obviously you weren't picking up. Now you're going to have to leave the US for at least six months before you can petition for a new visa, or the green card.'

'Mom! Just don't.' Zoe snaps, she groans. 'I can't have this conversation with you right now.' Zoe storms out of the carriage house. Outside, she stops and looks around frantically. Bluebell was never in her plans, and frankly she spent a good deal of time wishing she was elsewhere. But the thought of being forced out is really upsetting her, for reasons she can't really articulate.

* * *

'Lavon!' Zoe yells out as she closes the door to his kitchen.

'I'm not talking to you, car thief.' He calls back from his office. Zoe sighs and enters anyway. Lavon has his feet propped up on his desk, a book propped open on his chest.

'Be mad at me later, I have a serious crisis. Like, huge.'

'Has the good doctor finally realised that seeing dead people is a sign of madness?'

'Uh, no. That is, I know seeing dead people isn't healthy, but Leon Mercy isn't dead. Wade can back me up on that. I have another problem.'

'What could be more important than a man returning from the dead?'

'Okay, so you know how I'm from New York? Well, I'm not _actually_ from New York. Or at least, I've only been a New Yorker for like, ten years.'

'Your babbling is really not convincing me that you ain't crazy.'

'I'm Canadian.' Zoe announces, bluntly. Lavon's eyebrows shoot up.

'Okay, it's interesting news, but I'm still not seeing the crisis.'

'The crisis is that I'm _Canadian_! I moved to New York to go to university where my father went, so I had a student visa. That is, my father Ethan Hart, not Harley. I kept getting the student visa extended through med school and then my residency, before I knew it I was calling myself a New Yorker, it was my home. But when I didn't get the cardio thoracic fellowship, I stopped being a student. Which means _I_ don't have a visa anymore.'

'Oh, so that means-'

'I'm getting deported in three weeks!' Zoe finishes. 'I have to stay out of the US for six months because I missed the filing deadline or something, that's two whole quarters where I won't be seeing patients in Bluebell. Even if I get a new visa in six months, I'll have already lost the practice to Brick.'

'Well okay, that is something of a crisis.' Lavon frowns, sitting up at his desk.

'Yeah!'

'We could always sit down with Brick, ask him to hold off buying you out until you get back, in the spirit of fair play...'

'Now who's the crazy one, huh?' Zoe laughs bitterly.

'Is there any other way around it?' Lavon wonders as he slips a bookmark into the book and sets it aside.

'Not according to my mother and her lawyer…' Zoe stops. 'Maybe my mother lied about there not being a way! She's hated the fact that I'm here from the moment she found out. I need to get a second opinion.'

Lavon watches as the good doctor bustles out of his office without a backwards glance, he sighs as he thinks about the fact that he might actually miss the fact that he never gets a moment of peace to himself these days.

* * *

George is alone when Zoe surges into his office, she barely waits for George to tell her that he isn't busy before she tosses her handbag aside and begins to outline her problem. George watches her pace in front of her desk as she rants about how very unfair it all is for five minutes before she turns on him and demands to know if there is another way to get a visa.

'Uh, I've had absolutely no experience with immigration law, so bear with me.' George turns to his computer and looked up the relevant statutes. All the while Zoe watches him with a manic intensity. After five minutes he shakes his head.

'Come on George, there has to be something.' Zoe begs.

'Uh, well there's no way you'd qualify for the student visa or a tourist visa. And your mother's lawyer wasn't lying when he said that y'all need to leave for six months before applying for the green card or a work visa.' George shrugs his shoulders. 'All that's left is the spouse visa, but you're rather short on time.'

'So you're saying the only way I can stay is to get married?' Zoe looks at George who gives a nod, there's a look of longing in Zoe's eyes, before she sighs. 'Then I'm doomed. Toronto, here I come.'

George watches as Zoe collects her handbag from his couch. When she asks him how much, he waves her off. After a moment Wade walks in and tosses a bunch of papers onto his desk. 'I couldn't help overhearin' the Doc, she really a Canadian?' he asks.

'Yeah, but don't go tellin people alright? That's Zoe's prerogative.' George replies, flicking through the document. 'So Tansy finally signed, how'd you manage that?'

'Honestly, I ain't got a clue. I'm just happy it's finally over. So you'll file it?'

'I'll go to the courthouse right now, before Tansy changes her mind again.' George promises, placing the divorce papers in his briefcase. 'You can consider yourself a single man. Not that you haven't already, but now it's all official like.'

* * *

After her drink at the Rammer Jammer, Zoe returns home to find her mother waiting to say goodbye. 'I am sorry about this mess with your visa, but on the bright side, you'll get the chance to see all your old friends in Toronto.' Candice says brightly, Zoe sighs and opens up the cupboard where she keeps her wine.

'I don't want to look on the fucking bright side, okay? I am down here, trying to get to know my dead father, who I met once, for about a minute. And I didn't even know who he was. Who's fault is that, by the way?'

'I thought we got past this?' Candice snaps, annoyed despite herself.

'Yeah, that was before I found out I'm about to lose my last chance of knowing where I come from. Pardon me for being upset about this.' Zoe poured a large glass of chardonnay, scowling. 'There's nothing I can do about it either, because hell will freeze over before Brick Breeland backs down. The only visa I could get is a spouse visa, but where the hell am I meant to find an eligible bachelor in southern Alabama who will marry me within three weeks?'

'What about Wade? You two seemed close when I got here.' Candice asks, Zoe snorts and lowers her wine glass.

'About as close as the Union and the Confederates were back in the Civil War. He's an ass who derives joy from pissing me off. Yes, occasionally he takes a break from being annoying and fixes something, but mostly he's just irritating.'

'Really?'

'Yes!' Zoe insists.

Candice sighs and steps forward, pulling her daughter into a hug. 'I know it all seems bad right now, but I'm sure you'll figure something out.'

'If not, I'll probably call you in a couple of weeks for the keys to the Toronto house.'

After her mother leaves, Zoe settles on the couch with her bottle of wine. The sun sets and the bug zapper starts to spark as mosquitoes and moths come to a fiery end. Zoe tries to console herself by thinking of all the things she won't miss, like Wade and the local wildlife and the entire Breeland family, but it doesn't work.

* * *

**I've taken liberties with Immigration Law, mostly because I don't know it. Fake!Married is one of my favourite tropes, I've always wanted to write a story for it.**

**Also I sped up Wade's divorce because there'll be enough stuff going on without it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fair warning, not all updates will be this fast. But I'm feeling inspired for this, so we'll see how it goes. Reviews are love.**

* * *

Much later that same night, after the first bottle is all gone and she's made good progress on a second bottle, there's a knock on her door. Zoe contemplates trying to get to her feet, but instead just yells for the person to let themselves in. It's Wade, fresh from a shift at the bar. He leans against the door frame and takes a long pull from the beer in his hand. Zoe may be drunk herself, but she can just tell that Wade's definitely not on his first beer either. It feels like a dangerous idea for him to be there, because it's already been proven that she's capable of doing stupid things around him when drunk.

'Hey.' Zoe salutes him with her wine glass, sitting back as she watches him enter the room. It's kind of unfair that such a nice body has to be owned by an ass like Wade Kinsella.

'How you doin?' he asks, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch. He puts his feet up on the coffee table until Zoe kicks them off.

'I was great until you showed up.' She tells him.

'Zoe, I know about your whole visa problem. You don't have to lie to me.' Wade replies, Zoe looks confused until he explains that he overheard her at George's office. 'Must suck, I guess.'

'Suck? Yeah, it sucks, Wade. I never knew my father because no one told me about him until after he was dead, and now I'm gonna lose the practice, which is the only thing I have of his, it's pretty much my entire father/daughter relationship. You really think sucks is the word for that?'

'Jeez, I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice.' Wade complains.

'They told me the same thing about southern men.' Zoe mutters, leaning forward to fill up her wine glass. She looks up to find Wade staring at her. 'Do I have something on my face?'

'Let's get married.' Wade replies, Zoe freezes for a moment, before she bursts out laughing.

'What the hell kind of joke is that?'

'It's not a joke. We should get married, Zoe.' Wade insists, Zoe's laughter trails off.

'Has there been some kind of massive miscommunication between us? The other night I asked you to stay on my couch because I thought I was being stalked. I thought you knew that.'

'I don't actually want to marry you, okay? Look, I heard George sayin the only way you can stay is if you get married. So let's do that.'

'Are you insane?'

'No. Bit drunk, but not crazy.' Wade grins, but Zoe just shakes her head. 'Look, you don't wanna leave, this way you won't have to. We don't even have to really live together. We'll say we are, but I'll just stay in the gatehouse. We'll tell people my stuff's still there cause there ain't no room in your damn closet.'

'We fight constantly, who the hell is going to believe that we fell in love that fast?'

'It's a bit like Romeo and Juliet, ain't it?'

'Yeah, and look how well that ended.'

'Okay, bad example. But it's still a good idea.' Wade insists, Zoe frowns.

'What's in it for you? What do you get out of this?' she asks, eyeing him suspiciously. Wade shrugs, uncomfortable under her piercing glare.

'Well, I been saving money to uh, buy my own bar. I figure I got a better chance of getting a loan if I'm married to a Doctor, it looks a bit more respectable.'

'Oh, okay.'

'Look Doc, you don't have to answer tonight if you don't want to. Just uh, think about it?' Wade gets up and leaves, right before he disappears through the door he looks back at her, Zoe would almost describe it as hopeful. But she dismisses that thought, she's drunk and obviously doesn't know what she's talking about.

* * *

The next day is a Saturday, so Zoe takes the opportunity to lie in bed and nurse her hangover. She spends a lot of time thinking about what Wade had said too, and maybe she even goes online and does a little research into what they'd have to do to make it work. Not that she's actually seriously thinking about it. Nope.

Around midday she hears Wade's car disappear down the road. Zoe pulls on her boots and an oversized sweater for the walk to the plantation house. There she finds Lavon watching his new advert over and over. For a moment Zoe forgets all her problems as she watches Lavon on the screen talking about how he is now rash free.

'How bad is it? Do you think I'll ever be able to convince a girl that it's just an ad and that I don't actually have an STD?' Lavon asks, Zoe sighs as she slips into a chair next to him.

'It's just a local ad, right? Worst comes to worst, you just go interstate whenever you want to meet women.'

'You're such a good friend.' Lavon mutters.

'Okay, enough about your problems. Wade proposed to me last night.' Zoe announces, deliberately neglecting to give any context. She's rewarded when Lavon manages to spill his iced tea all over his lap. The Mayor of Bluebell swears as he hurriedly returns the ice to the glass, Zoe goes to the kitchen and finds a dish towel to give to Lavon.

'Girl, what the hell?' Lavon asks as he dabs at his pants with the dish towel.

'Wade overheard me telling George about my visa problem. Turns out the only visa I could get on such short notice is a spouse visa. So Wade offered to marry me so I could stay in Bluebell.'

'Oh, that makes more sense.' Lavon gave a nod. 'I'm gonna change my pants.'

Zoe waits for all of ten seconds before following Lavon upstairs. 'You didn't ask me what my answer was.' Zoe complains as she takes up residence on Lavon's bed. Lavon sticks his head out of the bathroom to glare at her.

'Well obviously if you were engaged right now, you'd have said that. But more importantly, can't you wait two damn minutes?'

'Uh, no! I'm kinda freaking out here Lavon. Because now I have the chance to stay in Bluebell, only I have to be married to Wade. And it's not like it'd just be a piece of paperwork we can all pretend doesn't exist. We'd have to prove to the government the whole thing is real, because if we don't then Wade would go to prison and I'd still end up getting deported. Do you think Wade knows that? There's no way he'd have asked if he knew. I mean, I'm not even sure he likes me.'

'Girl, you need to breathe in between sentences.' Lavon replies. 'Avert your eyes.'

'Fine, but I am your doctor, so…' Zoe retorts, looking up at the ceiling.

'Can't be my doctor if you get deported in three weeks.'

'Are you suggesting that I should say yes?'

'Oh no. No. I'm not making this decision for you, I'm not even going to make suggestions. I refuse to accept the blame when this whole thing goes south.'

'So you think this will end badly? Does that mean I should say no?' Zoe presses, Lavon sighs in exasperation.

'I told you, I ain't making this decision for you.'

'You are a terrible best friend.'

'I think you need to have this conversation with Wade, not me.' Lavon insists as he finishes buckling up. 'But I will say this, as much as I would miss you if you had to leave. This is a big decision, be careful.'

* * *

When Wade gets home from work, Zoe's waiting for him on his deck. She's trying to look relaxed, sitting back with her legs crossed as she reads a medical journal. But the way her foot keeps moving belies her nerves.

He's had an absolute shit of a day. Last night Wade had been sure that there was no way proposing to Zoe could end badly for him. Because she'd either say no and be forced to leave so he wouldn't actually have to face her after, or she would say yes and stay in Bluebell. But in the cold and sober light of day Wade started actually thinking. He started thinking that if she said no, did that mean she'd rather get deported and lose her practice than even play at being his wife? And if she said yes… would she just be doing it for completely mercenary reasons? Did he set himself up to become Bluebell's biggest fool?

Wade really should know better than to make decisions when he's drunk.

'Hey there, Doc.' He grins at her as he tosses his jacket onto the table and sits down as well. Zoe makes a face when he pulls off his boots. 'So, how about it? We gonna get hitched?'

'Did you know that what you're suggesting is a criminal offence? You could go to jail, Wade.'

'Aw, jail ain't that bad. They feed you three times a day and you get to meet new people.' Wade says, waving her off. Zoe just stares until Wade starts to laugh. 'I'm kidding, Doc. Hell, that's only a problem if we get caught, so let's not get caught.'

'Oh, it's that simple is it?'

'Yeah. Beer?' Wade asks, getting up. He disappears inside and comes out with one beer, resuming his seat.

'You realise that there's no way they won't investigate us? So we'd actually have to make it look real.'

'Sure.' Wade sips at his beer. 'What does that mean?'

'Well for a start, you can't sleep with other people while we're married.' Zoe explains, it's hard to tell in the yellow artificial light, but Wade seems to pale at that.

'What, just you?'

'No! There won't be any sex with me.'

'Well if we're not gonna have sex then why can't I have it with other people?'

'Because other people are meant to think we're having sex.'

'But we're not?'

'No.'

'What if I kept it real quiet?'

'This is _Bluebell_ Wade, everything comes out eventually. If it did I'd have to divorce you and that would ruin the plan.'

'You'd have to?'

'Yes. I am a twenty first century woman, I am not sticking with a cheater. I got my pride.'

'People gonna wonder about that when you become Mrs Kinsella.'

'I'm not changing my name, and if I did it would be _Doctor_ Kinsella.' Zoe snaps back.

'Shame, I'm pretty sure you'd be the first.'

'First what?'

'Doctor Kinsella.' Wade repeats. There's a strange silence after he says that.

'So obviously you can't tell people. That said, Lavon already knows, and George will probably figure it out because he's not an idiot, but he can't tell people due to attorney/client privilege. I'm also going to tell my mother, so you can tell Earl too.'

'No. It's better not to.'

'You want to lie to your own father?'

'Nothing good can come from telling him. He's a drunk. That means he can't keep a secret to save his life.'

'Well, he's your father.' Zoe shrugs, but Wade can tell she's not really impressed by his choice.

'You know, y'all are talking a lot about how this is going to work. Does that mean you've made a decision?'

'I just want to know that you understand what you're getting into.'

'You reckon I didn't think about all that stuff before I asked? Stop trying to get me to chicken out and answer the damn question.'

Zoe snorts. 'Wow, this is all so romantic.'

'Still not an answer.'

'Shut up, this is really hard, okay?'

'No, it's not. It all boils down to how much you wanna stay in Bluebell. The rest is just details.'

'So how do your people even do quickie weddings? Lavon mentioned something about boats in international waters, I'm telling you right now that I am not getting married in a boat.'

'Is that a yes?' Wade presses, staring at her over the top of his beer. He knows in that moment he's a goner, because he actually does care about what her answer might be.

'I guess it is.' Zoe finally replies. 'Let's get married, Wade Kinsella.'


	3. Chapter 3

'Shouldn't I be carryin you right about now?' Wade asks as he unlocks their hotel room. Zoe just rolls her eyes.

'None of this real and there's no one here to watch.'

'Mrs Kinsella, this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Why the long face?'

'It's Doctor! Now and forever, Doctor Hart.' Zoe insists, pushing past him and into the hotel room. Wade sighs and tosses the keys and their brand new marriage certificate onto the desk. There's a basket of flowers and a bottle of champagne that definitely wasn't there before they left. He checks the card, it's from the Hotel management, he guesses they send it to all the honeymooning couples.

'Drink?' he asks, holding up the bottle.

'God, yes. Hold on, I'm going to change first.'

Wade watches Zoe as she pulls out a pair of yoga pants and a top from her suitcase. As she disappears into the bathroom he begins to open the champagne. As Wade removes the foil his attention is drawn to his brand new wedding band. He hadn't had one for his first marriage, but Zoe insisted that it was important. They'd picked them out that morning in the hotel's jewellery store.

Despite having an entire week to get used to the idea of their impending marriage, Wade's still feeling a little shell-shocked. The idea that he's just committed to staying married to someone who doesn't even like him that much is still sinking in.

When Zoe finally appears again, Wade's settled himself onto the bed with the remote and the champagne. 'This TV has 500 channels. Can you believe that? Why would you need that many? I'm gonna watch them all.' Wade says excitedly. Zoe rolls her eyes and takes the second glass.

'Wanna see something really impressive?'

'If it's your breasts, I promise I won't be disappointed.'

'Dream on. How does steak for dinner sound?'

'Not on the same level as your breasts, but I'll take it.' Wade replies.

Zoe rolls her eyes and picks up the phone, ordering them both dinner from room service. Once finished, she tosses the phone back onto the bedside table and looks around, at a loss for what to do.

'Come on Zoe.' Wade pats the bed next to him. 'We're meant to be using our fake honeymoon weekend to come up with a story, right? We can talk about it when I find a channel that's boring.'

'This is going to take forever.' Zoe mutters under her breath as she sits down on top of the bed spread.

'They can't all be as good as this.' Wade reasons as he lands on the Home Shopping Channel. With a sigh Zoe drains her glass and reaches across Wade for the bottle.

By the time the steaks arrive, Zoe's drained another two glasses of champagne and is definitely tipsy. They argue over eating at the table versus the bed. Zoe wins that one and Wade reluctantly leaves the bed. 'Enjoy this meal, because it's as close as you'll ever get to me cooking you dinner.'

'Good, I enjoy bein alive and all.' Wade retorts, chomping on his asparagus. Zoe makes a face at him and reaches for her champagne again. 'What the hell's with you, anyway? You're more ornery than usual.'

'Nothing.'

'Doc, I'm just about the only person in town you ain't lyin to. Don't start now.'

'It's just… this is definitely not how I pictured my wedding day. Or you know, my husband. No offence.'

'None taken.' Wade replies with a wry smirk.

'Though I guess I should try to enjoy it, cause this might be my only one. I can't for the life of me find a decent single guy who'd want to marry me. I just don't get it. I'm a catch, okay? I'm a surgeon, and I'm nice, hot too. What else do men want?'

'I'm not sure I'd call you nice.'

'Thanks.' Zoe replies sarcastically.

'Hey, you want someone to stroke your ego, call Rose.' Wade retorts, Zoe just huffs and glares at him as she works on her steak. Wade finishes before her and returns to the bed and the TV. When Zoe finishes, she looks around for a way to be alone in her dark mood. Apart from the couch next to the bed, where Wade will be sleeping later, there isn't anywhere for her to go. In the end she relents and moves back to the bed where Wade is now clicking through the cable news channels as fast as he can.

'Oh! Football. Stop here, I want to watch this.' Zoe orders, whacking Wade in ribs for good measure. He looks down at the diminutive doctor and can't help smiling at the way her mood has already brightened.

'Why do you like football so much?'

'The violence appeals to me.' She counters, after a beat she smiles. 'My father's a big Giants fan. Whenever they made the playoffs he'd schedule time off from work. He took me to a couple of them, but mostly we just watched them at home.' Her smile falters a little. 'He stopped taking time off work though, said the hospital needed him. Now I know it was because he knew I wasn't his. I always tried to take time to watch the games without him, I kept hoping one day he'd come home and join me again.'

'I know the feeling.' Wade mutters under his breath.

'What?'

'My pa's Crazy Earl, doesn't that say it all?' he breaks the moment by reaching for the phone. 'I'm gonna order some beers, you want anything?

'Something with chocolate, and a bottle of Cab Sav.'

* * *

Zoe wakes and immediately presses her face into the pillow, trying to escape the bright sunshine. Her head aches and everything she does seems to make it worse. She groans and turns, trying to find a position that doesn't make her want to perform a lobotomy on herself. Instead she comes up against something solid and warm. Without removing her face from the pillow, she reaches out with a hand to investigate, it takes her some time to realise that what she's feeling is a man's bare back.

'Hmm, don't stop babe.' Wade mumbles. His voice pulls Zoe out of the last vestiges of her slumber as she comes back to full consciousness. With a small yell, she jumps out of bed. Wade groans and rolls over to look up at her.

'You! You were supposed to sleep on the couch. What happened to your shirt?' Zoe babbles, looking around as she tries to piece together the previous night. Her eyes take in half a dozen empty beer and wine bottles, the tray that had once held two pieces of chocolate cake.

'I don't like to sleep with it on.' Wade complains, sitting up. He doesn't look nearly as bad as she feels, and Zoe hates him for it.

'I… need a shower.' Zoe grabs her things and retreats to the bathroom. An hour later she emerges to find the room empty. There's a note on the table from Wade, inviting her to join him for breakfast if she ever decides to leave the bathroom. Zoe scoffs as she tosses it in the trash.

Wade's finishing up his eggs when she sits down in front of him. He smiles over his coffee, 'Mornin Doc.'

'Just to be sure, last night we didn't…' Zoe trails off as she struggles for the words.

'If we had, I promise you'd remember it.' Wade replies. 'I'm very memorable.'

'You're not wrong.' Zoe mutters as she sighs in relief. Wade grins and opens his mouth, but thinks better and closes it again as he hands her a menu.

'Better hurry up and order, we got that ice meetin in an hour.'

'I'm not actually hungry.' Zoe replies, pushing it away. Instead she steals Wade's coffee. 'Do you remember everything we talked about last night?'

'Unlike some, I can actually hold my liquor.'

'Hey! I know for a fact I didn't puke, I never have.'

'No, you just get really mean and handsy. It's an interestin combination.' Wade remarks, Zoe sighs in annoyance.

'I seriously don't know how I'm going to put up with you.'

Later, as Wade finishes paying for his meal, he pulls something out from his pocket. 'I wanted to give you this before we go, thought it might help with the whole act.' He explains, putting the engagement ring on the table between them. Zoe stares at it for the longest time, it's small and not new. Wade rubs at the back of his neck, looking anywhere but her. Slowly, she reaches out and picks it up.

'Where did you get this?'

'I didn't buy it for you, if that's what you're askin. I didn't spend a damned dime on it. It's just… something I found is all.'

'Oh, okay.'

'I just thought that it makes sense that I'd get you a ring, right?'

'Yes, I suppose it does.' Zoe removes her wedding ring and slips the ring on, it fits her almost perfectly. She puts the wedding band back on and holds her hand out. When she looks up at Wade, he's managed to look at her and the ring. She really can't read the expression on his face. 'Well, thanks Wade. For the ring, and uh, for marrying me.'

'Just bein neighbourly, Doc.' Wade grins weakly and leaves the table, Zoe has to hurry after him.

* * *

**There will be a few time jumps, because some stuff isn't necessary. I know some people will be disappointed to have missed the wedding, don't be. At this stage it really didn't mean anything to them.**

**Cab Sav (Cabernet Sauvignon) is my mother's fave red wine, despite growing up in wine country I never grew to like it, but shoutout to her for loving it, without her I'd know nothing. Also I wanted to say thanks for your reviews, they inspire me to write more every time I get one.**


	4. Chapter 4

**If I had to give this a title, it would be called the one where the town finds out, and is suitably surprised. I know everyone wants them to kiss and get their shit together, especially after the marathon that was season 3, but in this story they're still in the "I don't like you even if I am attracted to you" stage, so it'll take time. That said, it's still going to be faster than canon, because obviously being married is forcing them to be a lot closer than they otherwise were.**

* * *

It's midmorning when they finally pass through Bluebell on their way to the plantation. After a full day of interviews at the Immigration and Customs offices in New Orleans and a night of driving, Zoe is exhausted. Yet she still can't sleep, her mind keeps going over everything, worrying.

'Do you think they bought it?' Zoe asks Wade as he turns off the road and onto the driveway.

'Course they did. Look at me, who wouldn't believe that you'd fall head over heels for all this?' Wade smirked, winking at her. Zoe rolled her eyes as Wade parked outside of his gatehouse.

'Yeah, you're totally irresistible. With your huge plaid wardrobe,' Zoe murmurs, sliding across the seat to get closer.

'and your beer breath,' Wade felt said breath hitch as Zoe's eyelashes flutter and she rakes her fingers down his chest, getting closer and closer…

'and that charming pigsty you call a home…' her hand stops at his waist, Wade doesn't have a chance to be disappointed about that because the next thing he knows her lips are on his and it's bringing back all those great memories of her first night in Bluebell.

Wade's just about to pull her onto his lap when she breaks it off. 'I have to say, that did not go where I thought it would.' Wade remarks, Zoe rolls her eyes again.

'Oh, my! I'm terribly sorry, are we interrupting?'

'Yes, actually. What do you want, Lemon?' Zoe snaps, glaring at Bluebell's leading belle through the open window of Wade's car. Wade looks outside and finally notices half the belle's standing there staring at them.

'Morning ladies,' Wade mutters, Zoe's sudden kiss makes sense all of a sudden.

'We came around to ask Wade if he'd seen where Mayor Hayes has gotten to this morning. Although clearly Wade wouldn't know, as he's clearly far too busy seeing other things.' Lemon remarks with poorly disguised delight.

'Okay so obviously we don't know where Lavon is. You can go now.' Zoe insists.

Just when Wade thinks that's the end of it, Lemon then spots the ring on Wade's finger and gasps. 'My lord, did you two get married this weekend?'

'Not that it's any of your business, but yes. We got married.' Zoe replies, at this point the belle's forget to pretend they haven't been listening intently and start to whisper amongst themselves.

'Well then, congratulations to y'all. We'll just be going.' Lemon twirls around and marches down the driveway with the rest of the belle's.

'No need to put an announcement in the paper. By sundown there won't be a soul in Bluebell that don't know we got ourselves hitched.' Wade declares, dropping his hands from the wheel. 'I assume that display of wifely affection was for Lemon's benefit?'

'Well the town needed to know, what better way than just using the gossip circuit? They were gonna talk about us anyway.' Zoe replies in a businesslike tone as she pushes away from Wade.

'Okay, but how could Lemon have seen your tongue in my mouth? Not that I'm complaining, I just didn't expect you to show that level of commitment Doc.'

'Ugh, you're a pig and ass.' Zoe tells him as she gets out of the car.

'And your husband, don't forget.' Wade yells through the window, Zoe just flips the bird at him as she stomps back to her carriage house.

Zoe had kicked off her shoes and her jeans when Wade walked in with her suitcases. 'Hey! What happened to knocking?'

'I was just bringing your bags, if I'd known about the free show I'd have waited another minute.' Wade grinned, Zoe grabbed a shoe and threw it at him, but he ducked underneath it easily. 'I guess that's my cue to leave. I gotta go to work, which should be real productive now the cat's out of the bag. But it's homecoming, so I can't really stay away.' Despite his words, Wade just stood there grinning at her.

'Get out!' Zoe yells, grabbing her other shoe.

'Come on, it's the same as those damn shorts of yours.' Wade grumbles as he stomps out. 'This is gonna be the longest two years of my damn life.' He mutters to himself, adjusting his jeans.

* * *

As Zoe walks into town to go to work, Lavon rolls by in his SUV. 'Hey there, Mrs Kinsella, need a lift?'

'It's Doctor Hart! And yes on the lift.' Zoe snaps as she climbs into the passenger seat. Lavon just stares at her as she waits for him to drive. 'I think it would look better if I sat around doing nothing in my office, rather than your car.'

'I just… you and Wade, married.' Lavon shakes his head in disbelief as he pulls back onto the road.

'I told you this was happening two weeks ago.'

'Yeah, but I didn't really see it actually happening. It's a pretty drastic step.'

'You're telling me, this morning I had to kiss Wade. Again.'

'Again?'

'Well you know, we also had to kiss at the courthouse. It was important that we had it documented so I paid a guy there for DUI to take pictures of the whole thing.'

'Oh, you have got to share those.'

'You sound like a real girlfriend there, Lavon. Here I was hoping that the one advantage to having a linebacker for a best friend would be the total absence of wedding talk.'

'Everyone loves a wedding, even linebackers.'

'Well this wedding is going down as one of the darkest days in my lifetime, so be a friend and stop asking, okay?'

'So you just want to forget about it?'

'Pretty much.'

'Then how about a distraction? I usually host a party before Homecoming every year. But the coach's mother is ill so I've stepped in to coach the team. It would be so great if you could help me out with the party.'

'Sure, it's not like work's ever busy for me.' Zoe replies with a shrug. Lavon grins as he parks in front of the practice.

'Great, here's my usual shopping list to get you started. Make sure you get enough crab dip, they love my crab dip. Don't get picky with the beer either, whatever's on sale will do.'

'Right, okay.' Zoe says, taking the list.

'Hey, why'd you have to kiss Wade this mornin?'

'Oh, Lemon and the Belle's were watching, so I thought I'd give them a show and then I wouldn't have to announce my new status to all of Bluebell.'

'Well you're right about not needing to tell Bluebell.' Lavon murmurs. 'You know what, maybe I should handle the party. You gonna have a long day.'

'Not likely, I don't even get patients with Brick out of town.'

'Girl, half of Bluebell will be in there today wanting to see rings. They will pay for the pleasure.'

'That's insane. Don't worry, I'm gonna handle this party, you go do your coaching thing.'

'Uh huh, you'll see.' Lavon calls after her as Zoe leaves the car. Zoe just shakes her head as she climbs the steps to the practice.

Her attitude changes as soon as she steps through the door. All her years in busy, crowded New York have trained her to recognise the sounds of a large group of people, the sound of many voices blending into one large noise reaches her from the waiting room. Zoe quickly darts into her office and closes the door. She dumps her bag and picks up the phone to call Addie.

'Girl, where the hell are you? I've got a dozen people here wanting to see you, and about a hundred questions of my own.' Addie shrieks when Zoe identifies herself.

'I'm in my office. Are all those people really here to see me?' Zoe whispers, but there's no reply. 'Yo Addie!' she calls in a slightly louder voice.

'I'm right here.' Addie replies as she closes the door to the office behind her.

'Oh, okay.' Zoe hangs up the phone. 'Are they really here for me?'

'Yes, though they all appear to be of good health.' Addie replies as her attention fixes on Zoe's left hand. 'Good lord, it's true ain't it?'

'I know gossip in this town spreads fast, but whoa.' Zoe mutters as Addie takes her hand to get a better look at the rings.

'Weddings are big gossip, especially secret weddings between couples that no one knew about.'

'Well my desire to have this whole conversation twelve times over is at a zero, so do you think you could just weed out the ones who aren't sick and send them on home?'

'And then you and me will talk, right?'

* * *

Over at the Rammer Jammer, Wade's day was also extremely unproductive. Between the jump in customers that always came along with Homecoming and the extra-large booze order that needed putting away, Wade was rapidly falling behind. Every five minutes he'd get interrupted by a man wanting to congratulate him on landing the hot lady doctor, and then they'd ask him not to make her retire her short shorts.

Shelley wasn't speaking to him. She'd taken the whole thing as a huge betrayal by both Wade and Zoe. Whenever Wade tried to speak with her she made noises about how she thought they were friends but obviously that wasn't true. He'd given up trying to reason with her well before lunch rush.

Wade was just starting to make progress on putting away the stock when he looked up and spotted him. The years had been good to Jimmy Praboo, he still had his good looks and he hadn't grown a gut yet. Wade's blood boils as he watched the guy walking around like he owned the joint. Wade dove under behind the counter as he calls up Tucker.

'You'll never guess who just walked into the Rammer Jammer.'

'Wade, I've been wanting to talk to you. Did you and Zoe really get married this weekend?' George demands, Wade just sighs in frustration.

'I'm getting mighty sick of talkin bout my marital status. We got more important things to talk about, Jimmy Praboo is here for homecoming!'

'Wade, I wasn't born yesterday, okay? I can put two and two together.'

'Yeah, homecoming is a perfect time to get revenge. I still got the list.' Wade hisses as he peers over the top of the bar.

'Wade…' George sighs. 'Okay, bring the list to dinner at Lemon's tonight. There's always extra food. And you should bring your wife too because I need to talk to the both of you.'

'I'll ask her. But just remember what's important here, okay. Revenge.' Wade hangs up, feeling angry and annoyed at the world and Zoe Hart in particular. The little bit of him that was still thinking reasonably told him that he'd known better than Zoe what they were getting themselves into. But still, he was feeling annoyed, and frustrated. And maybe life would be better if there was even a chance of sex in his future, but there wasn't and it was his own damn fault. He needed a distraction.

Wade's reverie was broken by Jimmy Praboo's loud laughter. Wade's face transformed into an evil smirk as he fixed on his distraction.


	5. Chapter 5

By the end of the day Zoe has resolved to never buy another gossip magazine. She was feeling a painful kinship with the stars who spent their lives being hounded by the paparazzi, their every move documented and misinterpreted for the bored amusement of the masses.

After locking up, she stays back even later, the thought of walking through town filling her with an acute sense of dread. Zoe's killing time by rearranging the drugs cabinet when Wade calls.

'Hey, where you at?' asks Wade in a short voice.

'Work, why?'

'George invited us to Lemon's for dinner. By the way, I think he's figured out this marriage is a sham.'

'I really hope you didn't just say that out loud in a public place.'

'Relax, I'm doing inventory in the back room.'

'Hiding from the masses as well?' Zoe remarks, smiling.

'So, dinner?'

'Uh, no. I think I'd rather perform an appendectomy on myself than have dinner with Lemon and George right now. I'd rather treat the entire football team for another foot fungus. I'd rather-'

'Okay, I'm gettin the picture.'

'Why'd you stop me? I was on a roll.'

'And it was fun, but I gotta go.'

'Hey, about George knowing. Is he the kind of guy who'll bend the law for a friend, or do you think he's going to rat us out to keep his conscience clean?'

'Damned if I know.' Wade replies before hanging up.

* * *

Lemon's face is contorted into her customary look of sour displeasure when she lets him in later that night. 'Where's your oh so charming wife?'

'Smile, she can't come, work stuff.' Wade grins as he steps past her. Lemon excuses herself to the kitchen to finish dinner as George hands him a beer.

'I really wanted to talk to the both of you, but one will have to do for now.'

'Save it, Tucker. I know what you're going to say.'

George sighs and pushes on anyway. 'Wade, I know this marriage is a sham and that's a real big problem because it's gonna land your ass in jail.'

'Really? That's what you're upset about here?'

'Yes, what else is there?'

'I don't know, maybe the fact that Zoe Hart's off the market now.'

'I've been engaged to Lemon for fifteen damn years!'

'Is that so? It's kinda hard to tell with you flirting with Zoe every time you two are in the same room.'

'I'm just nice to her, there's something messed up in your head if you think that the only time a guy acts nice to a girl is when he wants to date her.'

'Really? Because plenty of other people around town have been nice to Zoe Hart, but somehow she's only managed to fall for you.'

'That botherin you Wade?' George retorts, annoyed, until the realisation dawns on him. 'It's bothering you. Wade, do you like Zoe?'

Wade scoffs, sipping his beer. 'What? No.'

George doesn't buy it for a second, 'Damn it Wade, you shouldn't have done this. This is going to end badly for you.' he warns.

'I'll not deny that I think she's hot, but she's also really annoying. The only way this ends badly is if someone rats us out, or if I finally snap and kill the good doctor.' Wade insists, George just shakes his head. 'I knew the risks when I agreed to this, so drop it.'

'I think this idea is stupid, but as your friend and your lawyer, I got your back. I have a feeling you'll need me as both soon enough.'

'Why on earth would Wade need a lawyer?' Lemon asked, breezing into the room with their entrees.

'He's determined to destroy Jimmy Praboo's life, or you know, his Homecoming at least.' George says, scrambling for cover. Wade plays along by pulling out a worn piece of paper.

'I got a list.'

* * *

Zoe kills time doing menial work at the practice until eight, before she decides that enough of the town will be off the streets to make it safe for her to walk home. However when she gets there, a new surprise is waiting for her.

'Gigi? What on earth are you doing here in Bluebell?'

'Come on, jello mould? Clearly you're on the verge of a breakdown. What sort of friend would I be to leave you alone in such a state?' Gigi insists, before showing Zoe her gifts. As Zoe breathes in the salami, Gigi spots something sparkling on Zoe's finger and screams, snatching the hand in question to get a better look.

'Ow! Sheesh, Gigi. I need my arm attached to my body.'

'Holy crap! Is this a wedding ring?'

'Uh, yes.' Zoe admits with a sigh.

'How could you do this to me? You said I could do your reception, it was going to be the biggest party of our lives.' Gigi moans, releasing Zoe's hand. 'Who'd you use instead of me? If you say it was that bitch Sun Pak I'll _never_ forgive you.'

'I didn't really have a reception. We eloped, just this weekend actually.'

'Well I suppose no party is better than you using my competition.' Gigi sighs, her eyes brighten suddenly. 'Oh my god! Who's the guy? Did you score the cute lawyer?'

'Uh no. His name's Wade.'

'Wade, the hot neighbour jerk?'

'Yes, that one.'

'Oh, I had a feeling something was going to happen with that one. I bet he's good in bed. He is, isn't he? I mean, what's the point of a jerk if he's no good in bed?'

'Uh… yeah, Wade is good.' Zoe stutters, scratching behind her ear.

'Aw, look at you blushing. So cute, you always were the conservative one.' Gigi cooed, patting Zoe on the arm. 'So where is this guy anyway? I wanna meet him.'

'He's having dinner with a couple of friends.'

'Guess it's just going to be us and the bagels then. Start talking, I need every sexy detail.'

They spent the next few hours snacking on the foods Gigi had brought with her, gossiping like it was old times. Thankfully Gigi was more interested in talking about her love life than asking questions about Zoe's. But that had always been the nature of their friendship, Zoe living vicariously through Gigi.

When Zoe starts to yawn, Gigi tosses the remnants of their dinner into the basket. 'I guess I'll have to find a hotel since you're married now. I don't suppose there's a Four Seasons in Bluebell, is there?'

'Not a chance.' Zoe says, shaking her head. 'And the one place we do have is booked solid for Homecoming.'

'Oh, I'm starting to think that my impulse decision to come down here wasn't the best idea.' Gigi says, pouting.

'No! This has been great. Look, you can stay here. Wade's place is just across the pond.'

'Are you sure, I don't want to put you out.'

'It's fine, I like you too much to ask you to stay at Wade's.' Zoe said, waving her off. 'I'll just grab a couple of things and be out of your hair.'

As Zoe carries her pyjamas and an armful of fresh sheets around the pond to Wade's, she curses her luck. Of course Gigi would choose the one weekend when Bluebell is full of people to visit. Zoe had been desperately looking forward to not sharing a bed with Wade. It wasn't that he was terrible to share with, Alabama was too warm for hogging the covers or snuggling.

God, this would all be easier if he just wore a damn shirt, or if she'd had sex sometime in the past six months. But Zoe knows better than most the futility of trying to solve a problem simply by treating the symptoms. She was attracted to Wade and his stupid smile and his perfect fucking chest. Really, she should have picked someone less attractive for a fake husband. Like Burt Reynolds, being married to Burt Reynolds would be a lot easier than being married to Wade, thinks Zoe as she starts to strip Wade's bed.

* * *

Wade's thoughts are on Jimmy Praboo and revenge plans when he gets home, so he doesn't actually notice that his lights are on until he's opening his own door. 'The hell…' he mutters, looking around. It doesn't take him long to notice Zoe sitting in his bed reading, he also notices that she's changed his sheets. 'What in God's name are you doing in my damned bed?' Wade asks, annoyed.

Zoe sighs and shuts her book. 'A friend of mine decided to surprise me by visiting. With everything full for Homecoming, I had to let her have my carriage house.'

'This ain't what we agreed on.' Wade scowls as he kicks off his boots.

'Oh come on Wade, we shared a hotel bed all weekend. What's another couple of nights?' Zoe retorts, exasperated. Wade just huffs and marches into his bathroom. On the long list of things he doesn't want to talk about, why Zoe in his bed bothers him is definitely near the top.

'What happened to my sheets?' Wade shouts through the door as he starts to brush, segueing away from the awkward topic.

'Call me a snob, but I like to sleep in a clean bed.'

'Snob.' Wade obliges.

'Pig.' Zoe counters.

After a few minutes Wade comes out in a pair of boxer briefs. Zoe's eyes widen. 'Seriously? Put on some damn pants at least.'

'I usually sleep naked, so y'all should be grateful I'm keepin these on.'

'Now I'm really glad I changed the sheets.' Zoe snaps. 'Come on Wade, you wore pants at the hotel.'

'Because it wasn't _my_ bed. In my bed, I don't wear nothin. Now, I didn't ask or agree to let you sleep here. So if it bothers you, the couch is right there.' Wade says, pointing at the offending piece of furniture.

Zoe sighs in resignation. 'Come on Wade, it's been a long and crappy day, and it's probably going to be the same tomorrow. I need a decent sleep, which I won't get on your couch. So can you please stop complaining and maybe put some pants on?'

Wade opens his mouth to argue some more, but instead he stops and grins. 'You know Doc, even after we got hitched I never expected to hear you begging to sleep with me.'

Zoe grabs a pillow and throws it at him as he laughs. 'I hate you.' She shouts, rolling over to face the wall. Wade kills the lights and slides in under the covers.

'By the way, I can see your breasts through that shirt.' Wade remarks, Zoe rolls over to punch him in the arm, before rolling back over again.

* * *

**I know that people didn't want to see Gigi, but to make up for it I gave you Wade and Zoe sharing a bed again. So... forgiven?**


	6. Chapter 6

Even though Wade wakes with the sun every morning, he's always slow to really get going. So when the sun hits his eyes and the first things he notices are strange sheets and a warm body next to him, Wade doesn't really question it. He just rolls over until he's got his arms around her tiny body and buries his face into her dark hair.

'You smell nice.' He mumbles, inhaling the vaguely familiar aroma. His mind isn't really up to figuring out where he knows it from. For her part she just sighs in her sleep and leans back into his chest.

It takes another five minutes for Wade to realise that he's in his own bed, and that the woman he's holding would definitely object were she conscious. As fast as he can manage without waking Zoe, Wade pulls back and climbs out of bed. Wade goes directly to the bathroom for a cold shower before he leaves for work.

* * *

By habit Zoe suggests to Gigi that they should get breakfast at the Rammer Jammer. It's not until they're walking up to the bar and Zoe starts to notice the townsfolk watching her that she remembers that she is now married to the bartender, and for everyone who isn't a Belle, it will be their first time seeing Zoe and Wade together. Zoe pauses for a moment to close her eyes and pray to God that this doesn't end badly.

Zoe's been off the pace all morning, and its hard for her to articulate why. Yes, there was that weird dream of being held by Wade that somehow felt absurdly real. But it was just a dream and she wasn't the sort to put much stock in them. Whilst Freud argued that they were unconscious wishes fulfilled by the brain, scientists had a dozen other theories that tended to suggest that the content of dreams was entirely random and possessed no real meaning. It served as evidence of Zoe's confusion that she spent her entire shower thinking back on the scant little she'd read about dreams and REM states, until the cold water shocked her out of her reverie.

Gigi hadn't been too impressed when Zoe apologised for using all the hot water.

As the women enter the Rammer Jammer, the room doesn't exactly fall silent, the conversations just go from a normal volume to whispers. Zoe sighs as she and Gigi pick a table. 'Am I imagining things or is everyone staring at you right now?'

'Let's just say that you weren't the only one surprised when I got married. Speaking of which, I'll be back in a minute.' Zoe mutters as she spots Wade walking out of the kitchen with a couple of plates. She waits at the bar until he's done serving.

'Mornin Doc.' Wade's grin is just a little bit wry, but before Zoe can return the greeting Wade leans down to kiss her. By the time he pulls away the bar has fallen dead silent, Zoe's glad that Wade's bigger frame is blocking off most of the bar from view.

'Uh, morning to you too.' Zoe mutters, she looks up at Wade's lips and notices that half her lipstick has remained there. 'Dammit, come here.' She grabs a napkin from the bar and wipes at his face.

'Well, I'd love to stick around and ruin the rest of your makeup, but I gotta work.' Wade winks at her and disappears into the kitchen. As Zoe makes her way back to her table, the mutterings resume. Waiting for her is a suitably impressed Gigi.

'Well I get it now.'

'Get what?' Zoe asked as she touched up her lipstick.

'Getting married so fast. He's hot, I approve.' Gigi says, patting Zoe's arm. 'So what's good to eat here?'

'Uh, avoid the grits and you should be fine.' Zoe replies, she looks up in time to spot Judson enter the building. 'Oh, crap.' She mutters, hiding behind a menu.

'What?' Gigi asks, looking up from the menu.

'See the guy who just walked in?'

'Hmm, cute I guess.'

'I know. That's why I kinda almost dated him before… you know. Anyway, we were a little bit unresolved when I got married.'

'Wow, you played the field? That's so unlike you.' Gigi remarks, Zoe lowers the menu to glare at her friend, but in doing so Judson spots her.

'I know, and now I'm being punished for it.' Zoe mutters, groaning.

'Don't worry honey, I can handle that.' Gigi jumps out of her chair to introduce herself to Judson. As Zoe watches her friend get to work, she feels a brief pang of jealousy. Of course her musings are interrupted when Wade takes Gigi's seat, after a moment he leans forward to fill her mug with the coffee pot in his hand.

'Oh, it's you.' Zoe sighs in mock disappointment.

Wade grins as he rests an arm over the back of his chair, he leans in close to keep the rest of the town from overhearing. 'Remember sweetheart, you're madly in love me. Not the wannabe doc over there.'

'Just for the record, becoming a vet is almost as hard as being a surgeon. I had to learn all about the human body, Judson had to study the anatomy of many different animals.' Zoe argues.

'You're thinking about what coulda been?' Wade asks, before sighing. 'Me too, I had three girls offer me their numbers this mornin. To think I wasn't even trying.'

'I hope you told them all where to go too.' Zoe snaps, scowling. Wade grins as he leans his chin on her shoulder. The scratch of his stubble irritates Zoe and she has to fight the urge to push him away.

'You sound a bit jealous there, wife of mine.' Wade murmurs in a teasing voice.

'No, nope. Not jealous. Maybe I have trouble trusting a man whose only skill is getting under the skirts of trashy southern girls, but I'm not jealous at all.' Zoe insists, shaking her head, Wade isn't impressed.

'Hey, we have an agreement that I've every intention of keeping. Besides, I'm not the one making doe eyes at a lousy animal doctor. Maybe I should be reminding you of our deal, huh?' Wade retorts, he leans closer to press a quick kiss to her cheek before he marches back to the bar.

'I'm not making doe eyes.' Zoe mutters to herself, annoyed that Wade got the better of that argument.

After breakfast, Zoe leaves for the practice after Gigi has assured her that she perfectly capable of filling her day, especially with a party to put together. She's not sure how she feels about Gigi spending the day working in the corner of the Rammer Jammer with Wade there to tug at her friend's curiosity.

Zoe loves Gigi for all the fun that comes with being her friend, but she often felt that they lived in two different worlds long before she moved south to Bluebell. As Gigi would say, Zoe's somewhat more conservative than Gigi, in that she believes in monogamy and building real relationships. If Gigi spent more than a week in the company of any one man, Zoe would die of shock. She supposed it came from the security of having an obscenely rich family. Plenty of girls in Gigi's social circle would need to marry rich to maintain their lifestyles, Gigi's trust fund alone was enough to fund her party lifestyle for decades. For her, men were just toys.

Zoe only just scraped by on her psych subjects back in college, and she's still crappy when it comes to reading people. But one thing she does know is that Gigi wouldn't hesitate to sleep with Wade if the thought took her fancy. It's not like Wade would be terribly opposed to the idea either.

Zoe spends a good deal of the morning trying to convince herself that the thought bothers her because she needs this fake marriage to look real and Wade sleeping around would ruin that. She fiercely denies any contemplation of her growing attraction for him and the possibility that she might be jealous.

Right before Lavon calls her to come down and take a look at his backup Quarterback, Zoe realises that she hasn't spared a thought for the prospect of Gigi and Judson.

* * *

After that, Zoe doesn't really have a moment to contemplate her feelings, because she's too busy trying to rein in Gigi's party planning and cure a mysterious Quarterback virus. Before she knows it, she's standing in the middle of a stock standard Gigi party, and while everything about it she would have loved a few months ago back in New York, right now she's too busy feeling bad for ruining Tom Long's night.

After copping a justified tongue lashing from Lavon, Zoe is about to kill the party when Wade literally kidnaps her, carrying her off into the night over his shoulder.

'I'm definitely going to kill _you_ if you don't put me down right now!' Zoe yells, hitting his back with her fists, it's disappointingly futile though.

'Only if you agree to come down the practice and check this guy out.' Wade replies, stopping next to his car.

'Is this actually a medical emergency?'

'Yeah!'

'Then of course I'm going to come, you big oaf. Haven't you ever heard of the Hippocratic… oh, who am I kidding?' Zoe mutters to herself as Wade deposits her on the ground next to his car.

'Enough Greek talk Doc, we gotta go!' Wade snaps, sliding over the bonnet with practised ease.

Her examination of the blue Jimmy Praboo is brief, albeit bemusing. Leaving George and Wade with Jimmy, Zoe attempts to shut down the party for a second time that proves far more successful. Then she goes in search of Gigi, who she finds in her bed with Judson. Really, all Zoe can think is that some things never change.

Before either of them can really say anything, Zoe slams the door closed again and marches out of the carriage house. She stands on the porch, fighting to keep her emotions in check. All she can think about is how unfair it all is, she can't be angry at Gigi right now because Zoe could never have had anything with Judson now she's trapped in this fake marriage gambit. It's only been a couple of days but Zoe can already see what the next two years are going to be like. Stuck here, watching life and all its infinite possibilities pass her by because she's tied herself to Wade and Bluebell.

It's not like she can just quit it all and start afresh in Toronto, because then she'd be sending Wade to prison for fraud. Wade is a daily pain in her ass, but even she can't justify sending him to prison for helping her out.

Slowly Zoe makes her way around the pond to Wade's gate house. Thankfully he isn't there, because right now she thinks seeing Wade (and having another fight with him, because that was their entire relationship, a continuous series of arguments) would just tip her over the edge. Zoe shucks out of her party dress and freezes. 'Crap!' she yells, as the realisation hits that all of her clothes, including her pyjamas, are in the carriage house with Gigi and Judson and damn, why did she have to refresh that particular mental image?

'You know, when you don't talk, you're actually pretty great to have around the house.' Wade remarks, leaning against the door frame. Zoe screams in frustration before she pulls her shoe off and throws it in Wade's general direction. He doesn't duck as it hits the wall a few feet away.

'Damn it Wade, turn around!'

'Why? This is _my_ house remember? You can't tell me what to do in my house.'

'Turn around or I swear to god, I'll kill you in your sleep. I'm a surgeon, I know plenty of ways.' Zoe yells back, pulling off her other shoe, Wade sighs and turns around slowly.

'I want it noted that I'm turnin round because I am a gentleman. Not cause I take your threats seriously.'

'You really should, because I seriously want to kill you.' Zoe retorts as she starts searching for something vaguely clean smelling to pull on over her lingerie.

'Why? All I did is enter my own damn house!'

'I can't actually give you a specific reason, all I know is that I have this... urge… to kill you.' Zoe explains as she sniffs at a t-shirt that looks big enough to cover her up decently.

'You sure the urges you feel are a desire to murder me and not… something else?' Wade asks teasingly, Zoe rolls her eyes as she pulls Wade's shirt on over her head.

'Nope, definitely murderous.' Zoe replies confidently, moving into the bathroom. 'Oh, you can come in now.' She calls as she closes the door. After a few minutes she opens the door to find Wade waiting impatiently, when he sees her though his scowl deepens.

'Is that my shirt?'

'Yes, I'm not happy about it either but all my stuff's in the carriage house and I can't get to it for reasons I'm trying to mentally suppress.' Zoe explains, shuddering as she steps around him.

'First my bed and now-' Wade starts complain, but it's cut off when Zoe grabs the front of his black shirt and pulls him down for a kiss. She's soft and sweet and tastes like fruity cocktails, Wade doesn't really question it until Zoe pushes him away.

'Sorry, I thought I saw Judson coming this way, but he went back towards town instead.' Zoe says as she moves towards the bed, Wade frowns.

'Right. I need a shower.' Wade says, slamming the bathroom door behind him. By the time Wade emerges, Zoe's in bed and the lights are off. Wade slowly makes his way up to his bed, choosing his footsteps carefully because he knows just how much of a mess his house is in. it's definitely not because he doesn't want to wake Zoe.


End file.
